The Trifecta

Vraiment? What a week it has been.

It all began last Wednesday when we ventured out of Dschang on our little bus of doom. We drove about an hour and a half to a chefferie (a chiefdom) for a completely surreal afternoon.

We entered into this fantasy land through a giant, intricately designed gate with bold blues and deep mahogany wood carvings. Directly in front of us was a massive grass hut surrounded by several true to size wood carvings of lions and warriors. Everything was screaming Disney land, and it took being informed that “the chief’s wives (yes, wives, more to come later…) were currently preparing our lunch” to snap me back into reality and remind me that I wasn’t in Florida. Waited for about an hour where we got destroyed by insects, as the chief himself was currently busy with prayers.

Donning his traditional Bamilike robes (and a Versace watch), the chief welcomed each of us to his Chiefdom. Had lunch with him and found out a little more about life as a chief. He isn’t sure how many wives or children he has, but it is estimated over 20 wives. He was one of over 100 children (and there were tons of kids throughout the chiefdom) so I am assuming he has quite a few as well…

He was friendly and outgoing, and told us about his get togethers with the other chiefs in the surrounding areas to play soccer or basketball. Then he would smoothly transition into a story by pointing to a 20 foot snake skin on the wall and explain how it was eating the leg (and killing) his uncle, and the men had to rip the serpent off him? Like I said, totally surreal.

Right after lunch, had a dance party with the chief with some incredible live music.

QUE: Symbolic rain and lightning (and thunder in my stomach).

Sorry if this gets too graphic here, but it is too good of a story to not share. Broke away from the group and tried to speedily find my way to the bathroom through the maze of 4 foot doors and outdoor, walled corridors (this place was unbelievable). Didn’t quite make it and ended up getting sick on the chief’s lawn. Way to go Laura. And to make it even better, one of the men who was serving us during lunch totally saw me, and with a horrified look on his face, gave me an umbrella and ushered me to the bathroom.

Downhill spiral from there. Went to the hospital that night, where we banged on the gate for 10 minutes before a nurse finally came. Found out there was no doctor in … The next 2 days were a pretty fascinating lesson in Cameroonian public health.

Went back in the morning where I was diagnosed with Malaria, Typhoid Fever (I thought that only existed in Oregon Trail?), and some other bacterial stomach thing that I can’t even come close to pronouncing. Happy 21st Birthday to me! Spent the next 2 days in the hospital…paid some extra cash for the private room (kerosene lamp and bucket of rain water for washing/flushing the toilet included…). Throughout most of the hospital, not running water or electricity- my night-time nurse had worked there for over 25 years and said that it was very rare to have the two. There are 2 doctors in the entire hospital who are never around. The place is basically run by 3 people: the nurse, the pharmacist (who also quiet often doubles as a nurse), and the cleaner. I could go on and on about the conditions of the hospital, but I think I’ve already scared mom and dad enough!

My amazing family from Dschang came and visited me on my birthday. My dad, the self proclaimed cordon-bleu, made me the best pound cake in the world (especially after eating only Digestif biscuits for 4 days… I never want to see those things again).

Thank you for all of the birthday and well wishes!